Submerge the noodles in boiling water in a large bowl. Move them occasionally to prevent clumping and let them soak until they turn opaque and pliable but remain very chewy, about 8 to 10 minutes, then drain.

Divide the pressed tofu into two portions; slice one into strips and mash the other in a small bowl to create a crumble.

Whisk the soy sauce, vegan oyster sauce, sweet soy sauce, and chili sauce together in a small bowl until combined.

Heat a large cast-iron skillet over high heat with a portion of the oil. Once the oil shimmers, add the tofu strips in a single layer and sear until the edges are crisp, about 3 to 4 minutes per side, then toss with the sweet soy sauce and cook until the tofu is lightly charred.

Move the tofu to the edge of the pan and add the remaining oil to the center. Stir in the onion and garlic and sauté until they are tender and show small charred spots, about 1 minute.

Add the soaked noodles and the sauce mixture to the pan. Toss constantly to coat, cooking until the noodles have fully absorbed the liquid and are tender throughout, about 2 to 3 minutes.

Push the noodles to the side and add the mashed tofu to the hot surface. Sprinkle with turmeric and salt, then stir the tofu until it is evenly yellow and resembles scrambled eggs.

Fold in the bean sprouts and chives, then increase the heat to high. Toss everything together for 2 to 3 minutes until the sprouts are just wilted but still retain a fresh crunch.

Transfer to a plate and serve immediately while the noodles are still steaming and hot.