Pound the peanuts in a mortar until they form a paste, then add the coconut and sesame seeds and continue to smash until well combined. Mash in the garlic, ginger, and chopped cilantro, then stir in the oil, lemon juice, coriander, cumin, chili, turmeric, sugar, and salt to finish the paste. Alternatively, pulse all the paste ingredients in a small food processor until they form a coarse, uniform mixture.

Slice the eggplant into 1/2-inch coins. Use a sharp knife to score one side of each slice with several shallow cuts about halfway through the flesh, then spread a thin layer of the spice paste onto each scored surface.

Heat the remaining oil in a wide nonstick pan over medium heat until it shimmers. Arrange the eggplant slices in the pan in a single layer with the spice side facing up, then reduce the heat to medium-low, cover, and cook until the bottoms are deeply browned, about 10 minutes.

Remove the lid and flip the slices so the spice-paste side is down. Cook uncovered until the masala is browned and fragrant, about 10 minutes, working in batches if necessary to avoid overcrowding the pan.

Check the eggplant for tenderness; if it needs more softening, flip the slices back to spice-side up, sprinkle with a few drops of water, cover, and steam until fully tender. Transfer to a plate and serve hot with fresh cilantro.